I have a New Year's Resolution never to have New Year's Resolutions which include asshat phrases like "NEW YOU IN 52!!1!!1!!1" Of course I'll be a "New Me" in 52 weeks. A lot of the cells in the body get replaced during that time! I don't need to make some stupid resolution to encourage my cells to do something they're going to do anyway!
I do actually have some goals for the coming year. None of them involve attempting to hate myself thin. I spent 33 years doing that shit. These are goals such as getting rid of my last storage unit, hopefully by June at the latest, which will save me a lot of money and to continue to get rid of things which no longer serve a purpose for me.
A purpose can include just making me happy, like my collection of stuffed animals. That is a valid purpose. I am also planning to do things like cut worn-out clothes into rags, which can replace paper towels and save money that way. Also, donate old clothes that have no sentimental value.
My other goals include kick-starting my mail-order mug cake mix business on Etsy, continuing my quest for world dominance with my super duper uber exciting internet business blog, and allowing myself to write things that I simply want to write, which no-one else is likely to ever see, which wouldn't make sense to anyone else, and which will never make me one single cent. I was very verbally prolific last year, but I've lost a lot of the feeling of love and inspiration when it comes to writing. I'd like to have those back.
So, I have no delusions whatsoever that I'm going to become Le Svelte Supermodel and snag the Hot Bisexual Billionaire Werewolf at long last!11!!!11
The Hot Bisexual Billionaire Werewolf is a character conceived of by the twisted little minds of Team Naughty Netherworld along with a bunch of hot-to-trot shapeshifting aliens--all of whom are about as real as the idea of becoming someone else's idea of "perfection" and living "happily ever after," if I'm to be honest.
Oh--I also might finally finish the scarf that I've been loom knitting for an age. It's about as long as my hand right now. I need it to be at least as long as my arm. This could take a while.
Happy New Year, People!