Image by Wolfgang Eckert from Pixabay
It is my hope to back away from apologizing for who I am and instead explain about myself so that those I interact with might develop an understanding of those of us who are wired differently.
I have type 2 bipolar disorder and ADD as well as complex PTSD and OCD. I wasn't properly diagnosed with bipolar disorder or OCD until I was almost 40. I didn't know I had ADD until I was in my 50s. I was just always scolded for being forgetful and distracted. I have always vacillated between being Ms. Wonderful and being that flakey a-hole that everyone hates. I understand why it happens now, but I can't change the past. I wish people would try to understand me a little better, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
My son will be 30 this year. He is high-functioning autistic and has ADHD as well as anxiety issues and major depression. He is very intelligent and has read the entire Amber series (Roger Zelazny), much of Tolkien's writing, The Count of Monte Cristo, the works of C.S. Lewis, and the list goes on, but he can't learn from a textbook to save his life. I think the current educational system does a very poor job of addressing the needs of those who are not neurotypical.
I technically also have a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, but it is my opinion that borderline personality disorder is actually a form of complex PTSD and is an outdated and sexist diagnosis. It is almost exclusively applied to girls and women. Everyone who has it has endured some form of trauma, whether physical, psychological, sexual or a combination thereof.
~Cie the Ornery Old Lady~
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I'm sorry that you've been made to feel an explanation is due. Why do we, as humans, feel we owe that to other humans?
ReplyDeleteMy daughter lives with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I knew nothing about it until she was diagnosed. She was 28. Looking back now, I see how many symptoms were brushed aside as other things. Hence, my pinned tweet on Twitter.
I understand what a blessing it is to get the meds just right, and to exist in a good place--but there's always that terror that you can go either direction--up or down--at the drop of a hat.
I'm sorry you've faced so many challenges--and continue to do so.Sending hugs. :-)
Kind thanks, Teresa. I'm sorry it took me so long to reply or even publish the comment. I think I'm doing better but who knows.
DeleteI can't tolerate the side effects of most medications. They have a tendency to make me manic and psychotic, two things that I really don't enjoy. Don't know why, manic and psychotic seem to sound like tons of fun to some ill-informed sorts!