It was a dark and stormy night and Mr. Robert Ingersoll,
a writer, philosopher, and retired lawyer from Dobbs Ferry, New York, was lost
in the woods. He was unsure how he came to be in the woods or even which woods
he found himself in. He supposed that he must still be in New York, but where
in New York, he was uncertain.
An hour previously, Robert had woken at the
base of an impressive conifer, which led him to believe that he must have been
beaten and robbed. However, the fact that he felt no pain and appeared not to
have a single bruise or scrape countered the theory that he had been the victim
of a thrashing.