As Betsy and Robin clung to each other in a loving embrace and
declared their infinite fidelity, the softly buzzing voice of a serene Mi-Go
apologized for the interruption.
“Robin, allow me to introduce A Fungus from Yuggoth,” Betsy
said, bestowing a soft touch on the lower portion of one of the creature’s upper
limbs near its pincer.
“Cer, the Heap of Coke as is gonna be accompanyin’ us on our
voyage,” Robin acknowledged. “Pleasure ter make yer acquaintance, old currant
bun, and I’m more’n willing ter earwig…that is, ter listen ter yer suggestions as
to proceed on this mission.”
“You need not adjust your manner of speech to accommodate
me, Friend,” the bucolic extraterrestrial stated. “I am a telepath, and as for
those colloquialisms to which I cannot directly affix a meaning, I can still
trace your intent via your brain waves.”
“Oi, yer like me old China plate Yitzy, then!” Roben exclaimed.
“Well, yer face ain’t the same, of course. Yitzy, he’s got two loaves of bread.
One of them loaves of bread has three eyes and several ears on stalks, while
the other has four mouths what look like trumpets. Mind, I can’t tell if he has
lips. Now, Yitzy, he only uses his mouths fer drinkin’ and takin’ in air. He
only speaks by telepathy, whereas I can hear yer voice aloud, but it’s a right
puzzle, for I can’t see as you have a norf and souf anywhere, not even a slit
in yer dome. Forgive me, Mate, for I always was the sort ter go off on a
tangent when tryin’ ter figure out how new things Kathy Burke. They oughta
print out a card fer me what says ‘Robin Roberts, expert in Pointless Blather.’”
“Your observations are not pointless, for when you lace them
together you shall, at the least, obtain satisfice. However, my objective in
assisting you is to ensure that your noble mission is optimized for results
exceeding the projected outcome. Will you accept my offer of assistance?”
“Mate, if I’d a heartbeat in me chest, It would be doin’ a wee
jig of joy at the prospect of joinin’ forces with a sharp new ally. Now, afore
we get the dough on the toad, I feel that I oughta apologize ter you.”
“I am unsure why, as it seems that you and I are, as you
might say, hitting it off.”
“Well, it’s because I spent more’n a decade hatin’ your kind
‘cause one of yours stole Betsy away. At this point, I understand that you
Hoppin’ Pot think different than us Earth folk, an’ this Heap of Coke, well, ‘e
thought ‘e was ‘elpin Bets. I still ain’t none too pleased fer all the years of
sorrow I ‘ad, but I understand that this chap didn’t mean no harm. Hatin’ everyone
from any race or tribe or what have you ain’t right, and so that’s why I want
ter apologize.”
“If it would be acceptable, I would like to introduce you to
the scout who brought Betsy to us. He will understand if you would prefer not
to make his acquaintance, and I am not attempting to make excuses for his erroneous
actions. He was on his first scouting mission and did not take into account the
fact that Betsy, as an adolescent of your species, did not possess the wisdom
to agree to his proposal to separate her brain from her body in order to
alleviate her emotional distress. It was his desire to assist one from whom he
detected empathy and superior intellect.”
I am thoroughly enjoying this continuing tale. Thank you.
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