Charity Sunday + Naughty Netherworld Update 27 June 2021: Tara's Chemotherapy & My Car Needs AC


This is my most recent picture of Tara. She's had her first dose of chemotherapy and is kind of in hiding right now. I don't think she feels horrible because she still pushes her way into the bathroom when I go in there (the door doesn't latch properly) but she hasn't been too interested in doing much of her usual activities. Mostly she's a bit lethargic.

The chemo drug itself isn't the biggest cost. Fortunately, it's a pill rather than an infusion. It costs $48 per pill. We're giving her prednisone at home. Having taken prednisone myself, I know it can sometimes make one feel a bit wackadoodle. 

The first time I took prednisone, I felt kind of dizzy and weak. However, I was also recovering from pneumonia and a severe laryngospasm that sent me to the hospital overnight. The second time I took it was to give me some relief from sciatica pain. I begged for more when it started to wear off, but the doctor refused to give it to me.

Anyway, that's ancient history, 2002 to be exact. My paternal grandmother died not long after this incident, on December 24, 2002. I felt like hot garbage when my father, my son, and I flew back to New York for her funeral. Less than 2 years later, my father would have a major hemorrhagic stroke.

I'll try to keep the trips down memory lane to a minimum. 

The biggest costs for Tara's treatment right now are the $165 per week of blood panels and physical exams. The next chemo dose will be given in three weeks. 

There was an unexpected abdominal ultrasound because the oncology doctor wanted to do a recheck and make sure the mast cell tumors hadn't spread to her abdominal organs. This procedure sang the discordant tune of $612 all told. I'm not even figuring in the cost of gas to go to the appointments. We live 60 miles from CSU where she is getting the chemotherapy and 50 miles from her regular vet, who is doing the blood work.

On top of the fun of making these trips, my car does not have a working AC, so we are driving with the windows down and it isn't much relief. Also, this happened.

I took this great picture of my own arm. You can click it to enlarge it. As well as the peeling skin, I also had weeping blisters. For those who may be wondering, the tattoo is permanent, not a temporary one. I got it close to 5 years ago.

Depending on what's going on with the AC, it could run anywhere between $200 and $500 to get it fixed.

I hate like hell to ask for money from people. Most of the time my son and I get by on my disability check ($1340 per month) which pays the bills with a small amount remaining. I make a small amount doing book reviews for the Online Book Club but it isn't by any means a steady income. 

I really appreciated the donations I received from a couple of great people following my post last month. If anyone else can kick in a little something, it would help a great deal. My Paypal is

I haven't done Tarot readings in a hot minute, but I'll do a reading for anyone who donates at least $10 and lets me know they want one. My offer for a promo post at Readers Roost ( for a donation of $5 or more still stands. Again, let me know if you want one by replying to this post with your email address.

You can also support me by subscribing to my Patreon. As little as a buck a month helps a lot and gets you free PDF copies of all of the smokin' hot Cloned Heat stories. 

Speaking of Readers Roost, I need to apologize to the last batch of participants in the WEP Challenge. I promise you that I will share your stories on the next Roost Recommendations. My mental health is kind of precarious on my best day, and last weekend the town where I live had an unexpected parade (I wasn't expecting it anyway) and yard sale day. 

I kind of liked watching the parade from my window, but I was unsettled by the people parking in the area in front of my house without asking if it was okay. I didn't want to make a fuss, so I didn't say anything. It was Food Bank Day later that afternoon, and I was very overwhelmed. 

I had a bit of a mental breakdown where I couldn't make myself do much of anything and started feeling like maybe I should just stop writing or interacting with people forever. I decided to take a week off of blogging rather than closing up shop permanently. 

Anyway, this is where things stand with me. Other than this post I may not blog again until it's time for the monthly MFRW Steam Hop on July 13, at which point I will hopefully be ready to get back up and running at full capacity again. It may be sooner, but I'm giving myself the option.

Again, I thank anyone who can help in any way with my cat and car expenses. Sharing helps too if you are unable to donate. I really appreciate it.

And now, since I'm oversharing everything anyway...

Some of you may have wondered why I am so reluctant to share pictures of myself and tend to use illustrations instead. Well, a picture is worth 1000 words, and this picture reveals the awful truth. I really am extremely ugly and have rather severe skin problems (rosacea, and yes, it is being treated). 

I am a large person, and people tend to think it's okay to ridicule and berate people of my size. This is why I don't share pictures of myself and instead usually close my posts with a picture of my alter-ego, Ornery Owl. Admissibly, I'm pretty ornery-looking in my regular form too.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Crap, I almost forgot. Please be sure to visit the other Charity Sunday posts.

Ornery Owl Has Spoken

Free Use Image from Open Clipart Vectors


  1. I WILL donate when PayPal agrees to let me play - or will talk to me.

  2. I chipped in a bit. No need to do anything. You were already kind enough to share my book.

  3. Hello, Cie - I don't think you're ugly at all, though the skin problem looks like a real hassle. What happened to your arm?

    I'll try to send you a bit to help with the expenses. You're a wonderful cat mother.

    1. I have a nasty sunburn on my arm since I have to drive with the window down because the AC doesn't work in my car. I appreciate the help you've given.
      This damn rosacea is way worse than teenage acne. The blemishes are deep and the stuff that usually works on acne has a paradoxical effect on rosacea. So, yeah, fuck my life.

  4. I'm sorry you're faced with all of these challenges. It must feel insurmountable at times.

    Cie, you have beautiful eyes! And our hair is the same color! We've earned every gray. I kinda think there's something foxy about gray hair. lol

    I've never been a small person. It used to aggrieve me when I knew I was being judged by others based on my lack of "delicate and feminine' features and size. I'm really okay with it now. People are petty, and honestly, they do judge others out of their own insecurity. They can't stand on top of their lofty hills without stepping on others to get up there. My mom used to tell me (way back when I was a teenager struggling to be accepted) that "We all put our pants on the same way: one leg at a time."

    I'm not trying to talk you out of the emotions you're going through right now. We're all entitled to what we feel. We own it. It's ours. And nobody can rush us through what we're experiencing. I guess I just want you to know you're not alone.

    Anyway, sending a big hug. :-)

    1. Thank you, Teresa. I don't know if I earned my gray hair--I started going gray at 27. People on both sides of my family tend to go gray early. I have very color-resistant gray so I apply some silver hair color once every few months to make it a little shinier and that's all I do.
      I tried to hate myself thin for 33 years. After my son was born, I would go to the gym, sometimes for 5 hours at a time. I always worked very physically demanding jobs. I did a lot of damage to my body. At this point I have to walk with an upright walker if I want to go more than about 1/4 mile because my back hurts so bad. Believe me, I get sick as hell of people asking me about it. I feel like saying "have you never seen anyone use a mobility aid before?"

  5. Might the rash around your tattoo be a reaction to the ink under the skin? Even old piercings can act up years later. I've got lots of ink--most of it over 20 years old. But then you're living with an avalanche of stress right now. I appreciate all you do to publicize other authors' posts. Thanks for that.

    FYI, I don't see an ugly woman in your photo. I see a woman close to my own age, who has been conditioned by the huge beauty industry in the USA to view herself that way. Yes, skin issues need to be dealt with. But beauty is only skin-deep. Your inner self is so much more than the sum of your looks. Be strong. Your cat needs you. And when you don't feel strong, then rest quietly until you do. Virtual hugs.

    1. Nope, it's a straight-up sunburn from having to drive with the window down because the AC doesn't work in my car and fuck my life.
      Thanks for the thoughts. I don't really much care what people think of my looks, but I also don't want to invite the kind of shitty criticism that a person who looks like me will automatically receive from shitty people, so I don't use photos of myself most of the time.
      If I rested quietly until I felt strong I'd never do anything but rest! My inner self is a crappy asshole that doesn't belong in this world. I keep going mostly to piss other people off and because my son still needs my help. Otherwise I'd have pulled the plug a long time ago.


I try to get comments published as quickly as possible. I have ADHD and anxiety and sometimes I need to work myself up to be able to respond to comments. I don't always reply to comments on my blog, but I do try to visit as many people as possible when I participate in blog hops. I share your work on the monthly Roost Recommendations posts at so others can discover your work. I do read and appreciate your comments.
Sorry, the Captcha is back and this time it's staying. I was inundated with spam comments when I turned it off. I wish butt rash on all the spammers out there.

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