Charity Sunday 29 August 2021: The Rotten Noggin Fund


Justin Ward is a great guy with a wicked sense of humor who has inoperable metastatic brain cancer. He is hoping to raise enough money to help his family cover his final expenses. 

Here is the link to Justin's fundraiser.

You can also follow Justin on Twitter.

I will donate a dollar to Justin's fund for every comment I receive on this post. Thank you.

I'd like to share a bit from a very different kind of WIP that I am working on. It's something that I've started and stopped numerous times. I think that this time I'm actually going to go through with it. My son has expressed strong support for my doing so.

Breaking Free From My Addiction to Validation
Genre: Autobiography, Nonfiction, Mental Health


I have tried to write this book many times.

This time I am writing it with guidance from the book Self-Help Sucks by Tony Blankenship.

This is a short, easy-to-read book based on the Twelve Step method.

I’ve always been critical of the Twelve-Step method, but I liked Tony’s approach, so I thought I’d give it a try.

I’m fortunate to have been able to avoid physical addictions such as alcohol, drugs, or nicotine.

I am using the book to help me focus on healing my need for approval.

I do not think that anything will work out for me if I am doing it to gain approval from others rather than doing it because I love it and believe in it.

My approval-seeking behavior leaves me depressed and unsatisfied. It is a futile search for something that I wasn’t given as a child. I keep looking for validation from people who clearly have no interest in me or my creations. This is a waste of time and can only end in heartache.

Nonetheless, I am addicted to validation given by others. When someone compliments me on one of my creations, I feel buoyant. When others criticize my work, I crumble.

I need to either stop sharing my work altogether or stop depending on the approval of others.

This is necessary for my overall well-being.

I am 56 years old, and time is not on my side.

I need to do what feels right regardless of whether others approve.

I need to free myself from the trap of seeking validation from others at long last.

Fair warning that if you have a problem with profanity, this is not the book for you.

Day 1

21 August 2021

Spirit of the Universe, please set aside everything I think I know about myself, about my story, about my need for validation, and especially about you, Universe, so that I may have an open mind and a new experience with myself, with my story, with my need for validation, and with you, Universe. Please help me to see the truth. Amen.

Today’s meditation: Introduction to Zazen Meditation with Jason Cain

I have thirsted for validation from others for literal decades.

Please tell me that I’m okay, that you like me, that my writing is good.

Please tell me that you want to be my friend.

Please tell me that I’m worth something.

Please tell me that I’m not just all wrong and fucked up and somehow deserve to be kicked every time I’m down.

Please tell me that I’m good just the way I am.

Please tell me that you like me.

Please like me.

Please don’t hate me.

Please validate me.

I’ve promised myself many times that I would stop doing this. I don’t need validation from others. I am enough. It’s enough that I appreciate the things that I create. Fuck everyone else and their stupid, useless opinions. Fuck those haters.

Somehow, I still end up craving validation.

Things are far from harmonious, especially in my head.

When I go into a tailspin because I haven’t gotten the validation that I need, everything suffers. My mood, my writing, even everyday tasks like cooking and doing the dishes.

I admit that I am powerless over my desire for validation and my life is unmanageable.

Dear divine spirit of the Universe, please help me to surrender my need for validation to you.

Free use image by Bedexp Stock

Ornery Owl, waxing philosophical about the nature of life, the Universe, and everything
(Free-use image from Pixabay)

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)

Creative Commons License

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This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.

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  1. Hello, Cie!

    I think this is a great idea for a book. Many, many people have the same addiction to validation from outside. But everything starts inside.

    Good luck, and thanks for featuring Justin's fundraiser, too!

  2. By the way, I love the philosophical ornery owl! (This should be considered a continuation of my previous comment!)

    1. I'm intending to donate a minimum of $5 either way! Thanks for hosting this hop.

  3. Good luck.
    I so understand that search for validation. Even validation from people whose opinion's I don't value. Which is absurd. And obscene.
    I hope that Justin's fundraiser does really, really well.

    1. As ridiculous as it sounds, sometimes it's especially people who I otherwise don't resonate with. There's a perverse need to prove that I'm likable even to people I don't necessarily like. I know it comes from being ostracized and ignored as a child, but I can't fix that. I've gone for so many years hoping the problem would fix itself, but, clearly, it's not going to.

  4. I think the need for approval is common for people who create--even when we tell ourselves that we create for ourselves. I will pass this on--it helps somewhat and my MIL passed it to me. Once you turn 60 your attitude might change. She (and I, consequently) started thinking less what people thought once we got past that milestone. Hope it works for you!

  5. I commend you for sitting down to write your book. It's harder than people realize.


I try to get comments published as quickly as possible. I have ADHD and anxiety and sometimes I need to work myself up to be able to respond to comments. I don't always reply to comments on my blog, but I do try to visit as many people as possible when I participate in blog hops. I share your work on the monthly Roost Recommendations posts at so others can discover your work. I do read and appreciate your comments.
Sorry, the Captcha is back and this time it's staying. I was inundated with spam comments when I turned it off. I wish butt rash on all the spammers out there.

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