Insecure Writers Support Group 5 January 2022

 

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

The Insecure Writers Support Group question for the first installment of 2022 is what is your biggest writing regret?

My biggest writing regret will always involve the ill-advised book that I published back in 2007. Not only did I spend thousands of dollars on a POD publisher but I had it in my head that this story would help people somehow. I revealed much too much about myself, forgetting the following truth.


Some truths should be fictionalized because most people aren't going to believe them. I made myself too vulnerable. I opened myself to attacks and ridicule through what I revealed in this book. I was also so desperately in need of someone to understand me that I let everyone in rather than communicating with my "fans" in a coolly polite fashion until I could be sure of their real motives.

I know I'm being cagey, but I don't want to open up Pandora's box again. This experience took a lot out of me. I almost gave up writing for good. 

I've learned a lot about myself during this past year. I may never "succeed" at the coveted "love yourself" thing, as I have no idea in the world how that would look or feel, but I sure as hell have learned to respect myself. Even I am not allowed to say the mean shit I used to say to myself anymore.

I may initially come off as snarky, standoffish, and even uncaring, but I need to protect myself. I am worth protecting and so is my writing. If people can't understand that, they are welcome to think that I'm just an asshole. 

Sometimes it's better to be an asshole than to be too solicitous. There are too many people out there willing to take advantage of someone who is desperate for validation.

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~



Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors



5 comments:

  1. Learning to respect yourself is HUGE. Well done.

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  2. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's tough to put yourself out there and be vulnerable and have that kind of response.

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  3. Really, it's nobody's business what precisely happened. It sounds like you got torn up emotionally from it, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

    The Warrior Muse

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  4. I can't manage to comment on your Charity Sunday post, so I'll try here, but without much hope.

    I just signed up for your newsletter. Who could resist a round cartoon owl?

    I enjoyed your poem, especially the "spin me a silent tune" line.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can't manage to comment on your Charity Sunday post, so I'll try here, but without much hope.

    I just signed up for your newsletter. Who could resist a round cartoon owl?

    I enjoyed your poem, especially the "spin me a silent tune" line.

    ReplyDelete

I try to get comments published as quickly as possible. I have ADHD and anxiety and sometimes I need to work myself up to be able to respond to comments. I don't always reply to comments on my blog, but I do try to visit as many people as possible when I participate in blog hops. I share your work on the monthly Roost Recommendations posts at ornerybookemporium.blogspot.com so others can discover your work. I do read and appreciate your comments.
Sorry, the Captcha is back and this time it's staying. I was inundated with spam comments when I turned it off. I wish butt rash on all the spammers out there.

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  Image by Camila Denleschi from Pixabay Note: This story is the first chapter of a WIP. I whipped it together over the past couple of days...