All the News that's Unfit to Print 21 March 2021

 This is my latest newsletter. I only have one subscriber (thank you, Teresa) so far. If you want this good stuff in your inbox, you need to subscribe too. Then we can do newsletter swaps and stuff. Sign up using the handy link below.

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Here I sit all agnostic on a Sunday morning, preparing not to go to church. We actually have a nice little church in our town, but my son, our lodger and I only go there for the food bank. I'm a bit disappointed that no-one bursts into flames when I set foot in the church, but maybe they're safe because it's only the food pantry. This weak-sauce attempt at a joke harks back to a stupid rumor that circulated about me back when I was in high school. I was a big weirdo living in a town filled with people that bought into all the Satanic Panic nonsense, so you can probably gather where this is going.


I think I might sell what little soul I have if I could find a demon who would take care of the blog hop visits for me. I end up feeling like a real shit because I never seem to be able to visit everyone. I was on track last week, and then the big storm blew in and knocked out the power, so, the best-laid plans and all that. However, the lucky winners of my visits don't only get fun and playfully snarky commentary from me. Their post is also shared by whatever social media links they make available. 


In other news, I still have too many projects and nobody is surprised. I think I will feed the next word-count purist a book. I tire of people who declare that one must write x number of words a day or one isn't a "real" writer. If you're writing, you're a real writer. Everyone has their own system or is trying to find a system that works for them. I cannot abide snobs.


I not only write my books, but I am also my own editor (what, you think I can afford one of those?), my own publisher, and my own publicist. I also take care of the meal planning and cooking, and I am the dishwasher. As the only person in the household with both an operational vehicle and a driver's license, I am also Uber. My son and I do the grocery shopping together. Because we live at least 50 miles from any city, we generally hit Costco only. I am irritated that Costco doesn't sell Cool Whip. Maybe I need to order some of those whipped topping packets and blend them with the shelf-stable whipping cream that I order. I am notorious for making whipped cream that is just slightly fizzy sweetened soup.


Anyway, here is everything that you need to know about in the Naughty world of words this week.

The free promo for Cloned Heat III is done, but the book is always free from Kindle Unlimited. 
https://bit.ly/CH3AZ

You can also opt to purchase the PDF version of the book from LBRY for 15 LBC (approximately $0.45)
https://bit.ly/SBSLBRY

Purchasing my work from LBRY is a very cost-effective choice. I get the full amount rather than a royalty percentage, and you pay less than you would by buying the book from Amazon. Admissibly, you can't beat the free Kindle Unlimited option. If you don't have a LBRY account, don't hesitate. LBRY is a free, open-source marketplace and is another avenue for creators to make their work available without having to worry about the rules imposed by platforms like YouTube, Patreon, or even some of the small players like Ko-Fi, where you aren't allowed to publish a link to erotica of any kind, including written works.

https://bit.ly/LBRYCard

I guess that's about it for now. I need to finish formatting my poetry book. My problem is I enjoy the creation process and want to just keep creating, but if I want the work to be seen I have to publish and promote it. This is a problem that I think that a lot of the big-name authors forget about. Of course, a small baked potato like yours truly doesn't have to worry about events such as book signings. All of my books are of the electronic variety, and I'm such a socially awkward mess that no-one would ever want me to do a book signing anyway.

I had weird dreams last night. I dreamed that my mother died but my father was still alive. My father has been gone for 10 years. My mother will be 82 years old this year. She was just given a clean bill of health by her cardiologist and pulmonologist, but when one is 82, there's always an increased chance that one of the components will just stop working. The women in my mother's family (myself included) are prone to precognitive dreams. I hope this isn't one of those times.

I then dreamed that my son and I were at a restaurant such as Denny's or Perkins and that Keanu Reeves joined us for dinner. There was a young sea lion making its way through the restaurant and it befriended my son. I needed to use the facilities, but they were having plumbing problems. When we went outside, my son and the sea lion slid down a slip-n-slide on the way to the car. I asked Keanu Reeves to call me and said I had some ideas for a project that we could work on together.

I have no idea what the second dream means, except for the bathroom part. If you dream about needing to go to the bathroom, it means you need to go to the bathroom. I'm rather sure that I'm not going to have dinner with Keanu Reeves or work on a project with him, more's the pity, and I'm quite sure that my son is not going to go for a slide down a slip-n-slide with a sea lion.

That's all for now. If nothing else, you can be happy that your dreams aren't as weird as mine.

Cie the Ornery Old Writer


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2 comments:

  1. Of course you are the cook, the bottle washer and the driver. And, I strongly suspect the cleaner too. In your spare time.
    I rarely dream in images but instead dream conversations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is this "cleaning" you speak of?
      Yeah...I feel guilty for not doing a better job with that.
      Speaking of dreams, I should know better than to take afternoon naps. My dreams went all Lovecraftian on me today. No weird monsters but plenty of sketchy people that I knew were up to no good and worshiping the weird monsters.

      Delete

I try to get comments published as quickly as possible. I have ADHD and anxiety and sometimes I need to work myself up to be able to respond to comments. I don't always reply to comments on my blog, but I do try to visit as many people as possible when I participate in blog hops. I share your work on the monthly Roost Recommendations posts at ornerybookemporium.blogspot.com so others can discover your work. I do read and appreciate your comments.
Sorry, the Captcha is back and this time it's staying. I was inundated with spam comments when I turned it off. I wish butt rash on all the spammers out there.

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