I have tried to write this book many times.
This time I am writing it with guidance from the book Self-Help
Sucks by Tony Blankenship.
This is a short, easy-to-read book based on the Twelve Step
I’ve always been critical of the Twelve-Step method, but I
liked Tony’s approach, so I thought I’d give it a try.
I’m fortunate to have been able to avoid physical addictions
such as alcohol, drugs, or nicotine.
I am using the book to help me focus on healing my need for
I do not think that anything will work out for me if I am
doing it to gain approval from others rather than doing it because I love it
and believe in it.
My approval-seeking behavior leaves me depressed and
unsatisfied. It is a futile search for something that I wasn’t given as a
child. I keep looking for validation from people who clearly have no interest
in me or my creations. This is a waste of time and can only end in heartache.
Nonetheless, I am addicted to validation given by others.
When someone compliments me on one of my creations, I feel buoyant. When others
criticize my work, I crumble.
I need to either stop sharing my work altogether or stop
depending on the approval of others.
This is necessary for my overall well-being.
I am 56 years old, and time is not on my side.
I need to do what feels right regardless of whether others
I need to free myself from the trap of seeking validation
from others at long last.
Fair warning that if you have a problem with profanity, this
is not the book for you.
21 August 2021
Spirit of the Universe, please set aside everything I
think I know about myself, about my story, about my need for validation, and
especially about you, Universe, so that I may have an open mind and a new
experience with myself, with my story, with my need for validation, and with
you, Universe. Please help me to see the truth. Amen.
Today’s meditation: Introduction to Zazen Meditation with
I have thirsted for validation from others for literal
Please tell me that I’m okay, that you like me, that my
writing is good.
Please tell me that you want to be my friend.
Please tell me that I’m worth something.
Please tell me that I’m not just all wrong and fucked up and
somehow deserve to be kicked every time I’m down.
Please tell me that I’m good just the way I am.
Please tell me that you like me.
Please like me.
Please don’t hate me.
Please validate me.
I’ve promised myself many times that I would stop doing
this. I don’t need validation from others. I am enough. It’s enough that I
appreciate the things that I create. Fuck everyone else and their stupid,
useless opinions. Fuck those haters.
Somehow, I still end up craving validation.
Things are far from harmonious, especially in my head.
When I go into a tailspin because I haven’t gotten the
validation that I need, everything suffers. My mood, my writing, even
everyday tasks like cooking and doing the dishes.
I admit that I am powerless over my desire for validation
and my life is unmanageable.
Dear divine spirit of the Universe, please help me to surrender my need for validation to you.
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